hmmm. I'm just updating to update.

I think I've changed a lot, over the summer. I dunno, I guess I just experienced a lot more, like love, real friends, and life that just totally shifted my entire outlook on everything.

I used to let everyone treat me like total shit all the time, and I never did anything. Now I realize I gave a lot of people a lot more credit then they really deserved. Some people were just total assholes, and I convinced myself that they had their reasons, or that I deserved it, that I still liked them. but in reality, I just had no idea what 'good' really was, and how wonderful it could make you feel.

I also used to act all pretentious and shit, like I was so deprived- I never let myself do anything that could bring me joy, like hugs, or smiling, or laughter. I was making myself something I was, almost martyrish, I liked that sort of romantic idea. Now, I let myself touch people, laugh, and generally be the gamboling idiot that I am. I'm weird, I know it, I love it. I can make people laugh, and that makes them happy, so I can be happy by making them happy. weird that that is what I always tried to do, and it was so simple.

I've found that nothing is better then being really, really very physically close to another person. Especially guys. Not in a sexual way, either. It's just very sensual, I guess.

but honestly- 'regular decorated emergency'-? only I could say something like that.

Only by being uncool can we truly begin to be cool. ~I am not stoned.

Love,
Wolfie

p.s.- I vow never to get high, unless I'm with the Pink Spiders. Or Brendon Urie. Or Adam Lazara.
that's where I draw the line.

p.p.s.- Panic! at the Disco show coming up on the 26th! Then on december 15th, I'm going to see The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Rise Against, and My Chemical Romance.
whoooooo.

p.p.p.s.- I hate people who don't listen to music because it's posour music- that's a stupid reason not to enjoy something.

that was the last one I promise. Now, I'm going to go delete all the old entries to my journal. That life is over.

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